Checkups, Tests and New Symptoms… Now What?

Dina Legland: 00:00:00

What are the non negotiables we choose when we are faced with new challenges as part of our ongoing healing. Welcome back, everyone. And today's episode is truly a continuation of our last episode. And we're going to get into once again, ongoing healing. And it's something that we need to, I would say, truly pay attention to what our inner core is saying to us. For example, when we go back for rock checkups, and we have certain tests that have to be done, and some of the things that we start to feel, and do we say, oh, my gosh, that pain, what could that be? Or there's a new symptom because maybe we changed a medication. So Maggie, what I'd like to know, is your perspective on how you faced ongoing healing with, let's say, the checkups and some of the bloodwork we go through, and some of maybe these signs and symptoms that start to appear.

Maggie Judge: 00:01:23

I have, I have my good days and my bad days at at approaching them right. And I will say, maybe not bad. I'll be gracious of myself. Some days, I'm better than others at looking forward to him. So right now is a great time to ask me that question. Because this Thursday, I have my second six month checkup. Okay, it feels so weird to even I had to think about it, it feels weird to say that. So I have my second six month, checkup with my oncologist. And I'm due to schedule my bone scan, but I'm chasing insurance questions first. But I have to schedule a bone scan, because of the hormone blockers I'm on. And I'm Do I just got the letter in the mail yesterday, I'm due for my next mammogram. I'm sitting here like, Oh, I'm I want to get these done. And I get to the other side of them, but I want to go into them not worried. And so for me it is putting that whole What if practice into place that I talked about of what if my oncologist is just, you know, beaming with how well I'm doing and I a bone scan is clear and no change and my mammogram is the same. And so so in some cases, when we like I do start to get that worry of oh man, like I feel over here, it feels different, or I get a twinge of pain over here. And it's like all What if they find it and they go right to they're gonna find something on the scan because of this little pain. And it's like, now what if the radiation that was here is still you know, working its way through the scar tissue, whatever's there is still exactly settling, right. So it is that mindset practice for me of not getting caught up in what I don't want to be the case. And focusing on what I want to believe is the case or what I do believe is the case with whatever the pain or the appointment is about.

Dina Legland: 00:03:43

Right? It's it's sometimes we get to the point where we are jumping the gun. We are fearful of the unknown, and we don't even we don't even have an answer yet. Yeah, right. Yeah, you know, it's just like, Alright, we just jump in full force. It's got to be A, B, C, or D. And we play like you said that mind game and you're going into your second six month, check in or checkup. I have been doing six month checkups ever since I was told I was in remission. And this October will be seven years since I was diagnosed.

Unknown: 00:04:29

Sorry, little celebration there. And I just recently went

Dina Legland: 00:04:34

for that six month checkup and everything, thankfully is fine. What I'm going into, which is on Friday is a colonoscopy. And my biggest fear is oh my gosh, my grandmother had colon cancer. A lot of women I know that had breast cancer ended up with colon cancer, not the doc, my doctor told me, they they're not, there's no link to that. Okay. But I just heard of so many women that I know that went through it. So I go for my colonoscopy is every three to five years, depending on whether or not they find a polyp. And my biggest issue is, oh, my God, is it an alpha cancer is is it in my colon? You know, so you do play that game of saying, Oh, that's it. It's, it's got to be there. But the bottom line is, I'm going for these tests, and doing this procedure to for precautionary measures, preventative measures, you know, yes. And that's, that's something that's truly, some days, some days, I'm really worried about it. And other days, I don't even think give it a second thought. That's good. It's true. I just, I'm like, the bottom line is, whatever the outcome is, is the outcome. And I will handle it when I find the outcome. So why am I going to be the one to say, and get so caught up in that hamster wheel? And that everything else doesn't matter? Except that's all I keep thinking about? You know, and a lot of us do that. It's just natural to just start to worry about it. Well, I know,

Maggie Judge: 00:06:36

you made me think two things because number one, you like the precautionary aspect of your ongoing colonoscopy is right. All we can do is take those precautionary actions. Right, right and do what we can, which is why ongoing healing focus becomes more important, right? But but this is an interesting thing that came to mind as I with my six month check in with my oncologist. There was no bloodwork asked for. And I'm like, really? What is he going to just look at me and know, like,

Dina Legland: 00:07:15

I'm so I'm going to be honest, I'm a little taken aback by that, to be honest with you. Okay, that's

Maggie Judge: 00:07:20

good to know. Because I my nurse was I immediately contacted my nurse navigator and said, I noticed there was no blood, I work I want to do labs and she said, Well, the oncologist didn't call for it. Let me check with him. But what is the checkup if it's just looking at me, I don't look like I have cancer.

Dina Legland: 00:07:40

Exactly. And like I said, I I just jumped in right away because it just took me by surprise because like I said, I've been going for every six month checkup and I literally go for bloodwork the week before going mad if

Maggie Judge: 00:07:55

that makes me feel better. But here's the point right for our listeners, I would have just gone to the appointment, I would have just chatted with them. But I feel good about advocating for myself now to get that bloodwork done to bring myself that comfort because I want to see my levels that I've always been watching while I've been going through and feel more comfort that way as well.

Dina Legland: 00:08:21

Right. And I There are women out there that have to get mammograms. I don't get mammograms because I have no breast tissue and I have implants. But the treatment plan and the ongoing healing for all of this is MRIs every two years. Okay. Okay. And then one doctor says two years and the other one says five years. And I'm like, No, we're doing this every two years. And the reason I am so proud persistent about it is because I've been having problems with my implants. And that's something that's ongoing. Healing, scar tissue pain, they move and I literally have to just sit sometimes and just silence and say what is my body trying to tell me? Okay, what is going on? I do breathing exercises because it can literally drive me crazy. Everyone once in a while I will walk around the house going these things that were annoying.

Maggie Judge: 00:09:36

While you've talked about him getting in your way they're in my way.

Dina Legland: 00:09:39

They're actually sometimes in my way. And the reason they're in my way is because the pockets that were sewn to keep them in place they both opened up. And we we talked about in the couple of previous in the previous episode, I think two ago and And, you know, it's part of the journey. And it's an ongoing continuous thing. You know, and we have to realize that there are certain things that we can do. All right, there are small steps to consistently living life on your terms. Okay, this is your journey, and nobody else's life, and we all are different. We all might have been diagnosed with breast cancer. But our journeys are just so so, so, so different, and we're all unique. And we all prioritize things more than others. And I know that you do have certain healing habits to get you through some of these obstacles, some of these challenges, you know, some of these new fears. And what might they be? Well,

Maggie Judge: 00:11:07

I I have I have a few but the biggest bucket that I will speak to of my my non negotiable healing habit is my morning. Me Time.

Dina Legland: 00:11:20

Mm hmm. Absolutely. Me too.

Maggie Judge: 00:11:22

And it's interesting, because I am such a perfectionist, and I like structure and all of that I used to try to get it right. In my Meantime, like, it's going to be meditation and then journaling, or it's going to be guided meditation. And then now I Oh, no, absolutely no, I don't I call it my me time. Because that frees me up to do whatever my mind or body feels like it wants to do during that time. But it's at least it's never shorter than 30 minutes, but it's usually an hour to almost an hour and a half. Sometimes it's a little stretching and exercise plus my meditation, sometimes it's journaling walking around the yard, like it's all these different things, but that has become a non negotiable. And the thing I will say, I loved your wisdom about the it has to be on our terms, right? And for me, I worked so hard to create the space in my self inflicted crazy, crazy world and crazy days, to create the space to heal, and to create the space to to learn what self care look like for me and then do it right. I don't want to unravel all that.

Dina Legland: 00:12:44

Right, right. You know, and there are days that we turn around and say I'm not doing my morning routine, but I still have me time. So what I mean by that is like literally last night I had problems sleeping and I slept in and instead of going to the gym by 6am I didn't get to the gym till seven 715 But I still did my meantime I'd still did my morning you know ritual or routine or whatever you want to call it. And I just love the fact that you said that your morning routine had to be so many minutes of meditation so many minutes of journaling, it's so much and I'm I was actually the same way. And then I was like this was stressing me out. And that's not what this was supposed to be this is supposed to be setting me up for success for the day and feeling happy and great. And I was like This gotta be a better way here. And that's when I said all right, if I journal first and then go to the gym so what

Maggie Judge: 00:13:52

right or if you sleep in giving your body sleep right then go to go to the gym. You know, I think you said it earlier to listening to our body become so key and I I used to always only treat my body as a vehicle to get from point A to point B and I have so much more respect and even just I honor my body so much more now. And I want it to be healthy. I don't want it to just be thin and trim like I used to when I was younger. I want my body to be healthy. And nestle into it is I learned more about that every day.

Dina Legland: 00:14:35

Yeah, it's it's something that not only going through this type of journey, but I believe women in general, because you're always on the go constantly. You're always on that hamster wheel that we don't realize that if that wheel should stop. What's next? What are we doing? And we don't realize that if that hamster wheel keeps going, what it truly how it truly affects us physically, which leads into certain illnesses and diseases. It's just, yeah, it's just it happens. I know sometimes people don't want to say it that way. But more and more, that I am doing research and self development and all kinds of different classes that I take, it's just everybody keeps saying the same thing. That if you keep going like this, you're setting yourself up for some type of illness or disease. And I wish I knew this, when I was a kid, teenage 20s Starting the family, on how to take myself and prioritize me first. And it's not being selfish, by all means it's not being selfish. So this ongoing healing journey is also a learning practice, like you said, what are the lessons are we learning here, now,

Maggie Judge: 00:16:13

and says, still learning you're how many years into your cancer free Ness. Yeah, and still learn to be

Dina Legland: 00:16:20

seven absolute, it's gonna be seven years now. And I honestly feel that not only is it ongoing, but it changes as we change. And that is, that's, to me, that's key is being able to have the awareness that it's changing, and how am I going to pivot to keep my ongoing healing the way I want it to be?

Maggie Judge: 00:16:47

Now? That's, um, I think that there was so much wisdom and all that you just said there, but if you if you wanted to tell our listeners a key thing to think about as they think about their now their ongoing healing, navigating their ongoing healing, what would you say?

Dina Legland: 00:17:10

I can kind of wrap it up and say, take the small steps to consistent to being consistent with your healing journey, whatever that looks like for you. Like we both have separate morning routines and whatnot, okay? And making them non negotiable, and putting them on our calendar and fitting it in there. And creating the space for it. You know, whatever that looks like, some people have a little area of their office where they have a chair, like, I have a chair that I bought, and I journal and I have my salt lamp. And that's my space. That's mine. I come in here, I shut the door. Everybody knows don't bother Mommy, don't bother the wife. Nobody call you though. So those are the key things that I believe are just so important to one's ongoing healing.

Maggie Judge: 00:18:10

I would I don't even know if I can top that. I think that's just a great summary of all that we've talked about. But one thing I add to it is when we love ourselves, and when we continue to strive for that meaningful connection with ourself, is when we do listen and take care of ourself. So I just feel like if we're, if we're loving on ourself, and constantly keeping that in mind, that will keep it going. Right but that's what keeps me focused on it. It's when I forget to kind of go inward and look back this way. And stay out here that I start to forget all the things that I need to do to take care of me.

Dina Legland: 00:19:04

Right right. Well, I think at this point, this is once again a good time to end this episode. And how do you feel about this? Part of I don't I don't even know what the words are. I just got kind of tongue tied because it's stirring up a lot. You know, when it when we really have to pay attention and look in because you summed it up. I gave certain steps and ways to handle it, but you truly put it in a way where the individual comes first. If that makes sense. Well, you just

Maggie Judge: 00:20:00

And maybe it's the words that I use that like, to me again, I've said this connection is my core value. It's one of my core values. And I have not had meaningful conversations with myself or meaningful connections with myself because I've so focused out here on everyone else because like you said, us as women, we tend to nurture others focus on others care for others. And so just continuing to flip that in it gets me a little

Dina Legland: 00:20:34

audience is probably saying, Okay, I thought they were ending and he is Deena bringing it back up again. Yeah. But

Maggie Judge: 00:20:41

these are they know we're gonna go have a glass of wine and